I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
It's 10:15 on a Wednesday night and my dick is covered in pop rocks. How's your Wednesday going?
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
I'll keep supplying drugs if you teach me piano.
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