Bring mistletoe to the strip club, and they feel obligated. they dont even charge you
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Maybe why that's why I'm perpetually single... I can't find a guy with bigger balls than mine.
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
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