How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
before we even ate breakfast we'd found an eighth of weed in some old purse she never uses. it was gone by lunch
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Also, you should've bet on Team Liver.
We won.
USA USA USA
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
