Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
Randomize
