i found the vodka. it was hiding in the orange juice.
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I'm taking the day off so I can get drunk at Whole Foods before noon
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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