Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Dude, dont worry about the lamb fetus in the fridge.
What?
Just dont open the beer drawer.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
thank you TLC waking up to a water birth on tv really put the cherry on top of my hangover...
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
Were not alcoholics, were just impatient for fridays
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Apparently I send drunk snapchats a lot and they always have random dudes in them. Like one night it was just me and some guy I don't know sitting on my couch.
my grandma just gave me a shoebox fulled to the top with tootsie rolls and condoms with a not that said "enjoy college, find a big cock" i'm not sure how I feel about this
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
