I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
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