shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
All is fair in love and war and toga parties
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
Randomize
