The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
Awesome morning. I just met my boyfriend's wife, should I have shaken her hand or was the hug a tad over the top?
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I fucked a French man last night. 5 Times. Ashed my cig in his cactus. That later set on fire while we were having sex.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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