This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
He's doing the 1:45AM lap: he goes around the bar, finds the hottest crying girl 15 minutes before close, and brings her home. I would feel bad for the girls if it wasn't such incredible genius.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
There's always time for handjobs
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
She tried to sing jingle balls while blowing me
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
He played with my nipples while singing "How great thou art"
Randomize
