yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
We were making out in the bushes when some dude comes and starts peeing beside us.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
No he doesn’t answer my texts except for like on New Year’s Because like I was fucked up on New Year’s and he said happy new year and I told him the same and I called him dragonslayer and you can’t really recover from that
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
Randomize
