He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
I sent her a Relationship Request on Facebook last night, she accepted and we fucked.. I changed my Relationship Status to Single, I think she'll get the point
and i think we compared dick sizes, then high fived...
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
Randomize
