a smallpox vaccine scar is like a lower back tattoo.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
I'm a professor! I can't be caught chasing the liquor with you hooligans once the undergrads have seen my face
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
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