i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
You know it's bad when I can already feel tomorrow's hangover before even drinking today.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
Randomize
