bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
I have better things to do with my life than be faithful.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
