shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
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