I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
Successfully pulled the houdini tonight. Check that off my list.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
he said he wants to do me james and the giant peach style. im afraid of what that means. but moderately excited. wish me luck.
Apparently 'she used to sleep with my brother' is not an acceptable answer to how do you know each other.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
