u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
We were so bored at work tonight that we were in dry storage taking turns pouring the boxed wine we use for cooking into each others' mouths. I think I'm starting to understand the "problem" aspect of "drinking problem."
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
nothing worse than sitting down ready for a solid porn sesh to find out your internet is out. comcast owes me a handjob
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
I'm only texting you this bc god forbid circumstances change when you wake up but currently santa is asleep on top of the washer and dryer.
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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