So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
you were so drunk you tried to use the microwave as a calculator for your BAC
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
He was like, I wanna take it slow. I took off my bra And I was like, either we have sex now or you get out.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
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