Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
I told him I was engaged, had 911 on speed dial and made him wear his seatbelt, then dropped his drunk ass off at his motel...probably not the night he was expecting.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
No we don't really celebrate valentines day, we just use it as an excuse to drink 3 bottles of red wine and fuck for a few hours.
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
