seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
and i fell asleep on top of a grilled cheese sandwich. not the best decision. but not the worst.
Well, find something you can use as a snorkel and be aware of your surroundings.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
A 74 year old man offered to let me sleep on his pull out couch last night.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
Randomize
