Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
I CAN MOONWALK!
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
There's an official council for his ex boyfriends. They told me they 'look forward to the day I join them'.
I don't know if I want to cry scream puke or go somewhere and drink more. This is such a weird emotion.
Wear whatever you want, I'm wearing ass-less chaps and a sombrero
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
Hey. My eyes swollen shut and I can't find my shoes. How was your night?
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I feel a little uneasy about having my grandma sleep in my bed that I've banged chicks in not too long ago... Fuckin blizzards
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it customary to send a 'thank you card'to someone who gave you awesome oral as a gift at your housewarming party?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
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