I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
i just uploaded three hundred pictures and you had your shirt off in two hundred and ninety of them
the remaining ten - you weren't in
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
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