he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
The vodka gummy bears are so strong. If I die of alcohol poisoning, please tell my dad it was single malt scotch.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Having a bangable neighbor is going to ruin my booty call game. I refuse to go across town for dick now
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