Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
You set a couch on fire in my brothers backyard?
Just the cushions
Btw I puked in your glovebox
Randomize
