You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Wall of shame with a backpack full of beer bottles, cowboy hat in hand, and a handlebar mustache. I was applauded by a passing car
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
