Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
What happened to the watermelon?
You fucked it.
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
How do you set tits on fire ? I swear her tits were on fire.
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
So vagazzling was a success
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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