Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Only catch is you have to sleep in the same bed as me. But no worries, I plan on being in a random guys hotel room every night. So it's essentially yours.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
The girl in the stall next to me is puking her brains out, I'd say she had just a good a weekend as us
I gave her some alkaseltzer ad she looked at me lke I was god
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
Being able to fart in my own house is like 90% of why I pay rent
I stole a tiki torch last night and just returned it. Things have been better.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
You tried to ride his dick and fell off. Then tried to ride the floor. That's why he hasn't called back
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
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