My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I couldn't figure out what was more important, finishing the shot or putting out the fire on my leg.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
