Can you tell me we didn't drink from a fish bowl we found in the bathroom last night? I know it would be a lie; I just need to hear it.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
No. I do not want to discuss your lesbian tendencies with my sister.
She still started it.
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Randomize
