i just pissed myself at work. maybe they'll buy the old coffee spill trick
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
You know that you're in a bad spot when the doctor puts you on 500mg of amoxicillin 4 times a day for ten days and puts refills on it...
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Some guy is here to get laser hair removal on his balls. I hate my job.
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
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