ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
I had to put my glasses on last night to watch porn. SO getting lasik with my tax returns this year.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I'm okay. We got a prayer rug sent to us with the face of jesus on it. From Tulsa Oklahoma. Kinda weird.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
Randomize
