dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
You don't understand how difficult it is to give head with cotton mouth
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
Randomize
