babies were throwing up all over the place
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
not only did i climb through the window at 4 am but here i am 4 hours later for my interview at the mall and i'm staring in the dark pet store barking at puppies
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
some drunk guy just paid $3 for each cig that i picked up off the ground. the cigs that he threw on the ground. I might just follow him the rest of the night
MEET ME OUTSIDE YOUR HOUSE IN THREE MINUTES. BE DRUNK. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
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