tonight would not even compare to the night i tried to pee in the living room
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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