I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
You fucked a stripper on your sisters friends blow up mattress. The least you could do is wash the sheets.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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