ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
...Then she just started hitting me with a loaf of bread.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
My ex was there, the 2 girls I'm seeing showed up and I had a pocket full of VIP passes 2 the strip club. Had all the makings of an epic night but I fell asleep at the bar.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
Randomize
