she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
it's love
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
I feel like we shud celebrate your sisters homecoming by having sex in her room
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
If I have to strap one on and give it to you good, you will not die revirginated. That's friendship.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Yup, found the vomit in the side compartment. My bad.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
I often wonder if we’re introverted extroverts, but I don’t think so. I think we’re just easily tired scumbags
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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