I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
i was out of cigarettes so i took the butts out of the ashtray, emptied them out, and proceeded to roll one big Frankenstein cigarette.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
Sweet! It'll be a "that-minor-I-used-to-serve-alcohol-to-is-no-longer-a-minor" party!!!
Randomize
