proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
We stole a cat. That is all you need to know.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
so much tequila, so little girl.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Totes just ripped ass and the bartender's eyes got wet
Randomize
