I only kidnapped one of them. chill
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It's like, I'm the official vagina for that DJ group
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Randomize
