Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I don't think he wanted to hear that my most serious relationship was my 1 1/2 year fuck buddy... I think he figured out that's where he's heading
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Randomize
