The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Nada. Shooting off confetti and wanted to see I'd u could see it from ur house.
Wow. Its not even 11am.
He fell off a seesaw, tore half his ear off and somehow convinced the paramedic he was allowed to have a beer while being treated
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
He's probably hung over. I sure as hell am. I want to pop out my eyeballs with a fork and soak them in cold water
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
"This is Emily. She likes potatoes. And sometimes laughs and cries at the same time, and has a wonderful butt"
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
