The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
It's 8 in the morning and you're doing coke and drinking margaritas. First, you have a problem. Second, why didn't you invite me?
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
Once my new license was put into my hand, a light from the heavens shined down and pauly D's voice was in my mind saying ohh yeaaah 21 yeaaah
Randomize
