No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
She carries her pencils in a crown royal bag... Need I say more?
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
I was sitting on the floor of CVS chugging white grape juice until someone asked me to leave.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
OMG THE KID WHO TRIED TO MAKE OUT AT THE BAR WITH ME IS SITTIG NEXT TO ME IN THE AIRPORT. WHY LIFE WHY???
He got naked and made a run for the door so I had to stop him.
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
Randomize
