I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
When you went through airport security you asked if the could check if a baby was in there. That drunk.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
Saw a girl outside my apartment shotgun a bud light, then a red bull, get in her Tahoe, and drive 4 people away. Gotta love thirsty Thursday.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
I stopped him mid keg stand to show him how cute my bra was...
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
