I just cleaned my sheets and decided to do a black light test. My headboard is a masterpiece.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
dibs on John Mayer's hood pass
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
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