i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
Did you know they have alcohol AND weed delivery in Canada??? I'm not EVER coming home
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
He's carved the words "SLAM STATION" into his headboard...
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
You can't just drop that I might be walking into a foursome and leave it at that
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
is it sad that the highlight of my saturday night was waiting till 3 in the morning to hear about your saturday night?
Randomize
