I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
I feel like I'm back in highscool trying to hide my erections at work
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
i was about to rearrange the room but realized that this is the only efficient setup where we can have sex while the other one's asleep without them accidentally seeing.
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
Lol okay. He's gonna show up with like a trunk of sex toys. He's like the mary poppins of hotel fucking.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
Randomize
