Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Do you think Conan would leave his wife for me?
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
I legit just woke up on my couch, snuggled up next to some guy who's wearing my roommate's pink bathroble. What the fuck do they put in those shots?
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
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