The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
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