halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
There aren't nearly as many guys masturbating on chatroulette as i was led to believe...i feel cheated
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I mean, I know they're ugly, but I cant turn down a birthday threesome.
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I'm trying to figure if this dude sitting in his car with the door open is dead or just sleeping. Someone was probably wondering the same thing bout me 20 minutes ago. Your meeting is taking a ridiculous amount of time.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
